Greetings! You filthy animals! I hope you all had a great week. Its Labor Day weekend and its all about you. I'd like to thank all the people who sent well wishes and donated money to the Documentary, we're going to make something special. The film will cover aspects of my life that made me who I am, from the drugs, the crimes, and the people and locations that inspired me in a fucked up way, I'm not leaving any stoned unturned.
But there is a lot of filler that I can't show not because I don't want to but because its not there, one of those things is my relationship with my daughter which at this point, is non existance. My daughter Jackie was born in 1990 right after I got out of the Halfway house, I mean I got out on February 2nd, and she was born on the 3rd. From the start I loved her dearly, not enough to quit the bad things that I was doing, but I still loved her. Her mom and I seperated when she was 18 months old and things were never the same. From the start it was a nightmare. She moved in with a man and wouldn't let me see the kid. At the time, I was no angel but I was still her father. For years after that, we went back and forth. The only problem was that I am an animal, I didn't and wouldn't play the game. This court stuff was not what I was about. It got so bad that at one point I was planing on killing both of them. In my mind I was prepared to go to prison for life. I was going to write jokes for Jay Leno and live the rest of my life in a hole.
Then I decided I was just going to kill him because I had grown up without a mother and I knew what that felt like. I was making my plans, where to kill him and dump the body. I was going to shoot him and tie him up to a tree, then I was going to rub him down with peanut butter and let the bears and the mountain lions do the rest. But the day never came because one day while I was picking my daughter up from day care she mentioned that the guy would call me a spic whenever I called the house. That was enough!
With my daughter in the car I went down to where the guy worked and asked him if this was true? He told me that my daughter was a liar so I hit him hard a couple of times. The cops came and I got away with it but I didn't, my daughter had seen the whole thing. When I was a kid I saw my step dad blast a few people and I loved it. I remember getting back in the car after the incident and my little girl was crying, she couldn't handle what had happened. I felt good about hitting the fuck and sticking up for myself but I felt bad about my Princess.
I am not a genius, but I'm not stupid, this situation was going to escalate into something bad, I knew it. Eventually something was going to happen. I thought about my life and how I had grown up, did I want the same for her? Was she going to get exposed to the things that I had been exposed to? What type of father was I really going to be? I loved her but thats enough in todays world. She had a family in place, something I didn't. I decided to move To Seattle to pursue comedy and give the situation some air, I would still keep in touch with her and visit from time to time and I hoped that things would get better and some day I could go back and be her father.....that day never came.
I kept in touch with her as much as I could. I'd go back to see her and I always got some story on how she was busy and she could only see me for a few hours and what not. The straw that broke the camels back was when she changed her last name, that killed me. My father died when I was 3 and my mom remarried. I never knew my father but I never changed his name out of respect to him even though he was dead, he was my father!
I contacted her and she gave me some story about her mother changing it so when I contacted the mother she told me it was my daughter who wanted to change it. My ego couldn't take it so I told both of them to fuck off and that was that. For years I slept on floors, cars, I gave up a lot of things for Comedy but I also went without so I could be responsible and this is how I got treated? That was 8 years ago and we haven't spoken since.
I sit here at times thinking about our reunion. What would she say? What would I tell her. This is what "Remember Me" is about. Its a One Man show written by me and Directed by Kate Alkarni. I'm going to put it up the whole month of September at The IceHouse Stage 2 on Wednesdays @ 8:30. The show dates are the 7th, 14th, 21st, and the 28th. The first one this Wednesday is FREE. Please come by it would mean the world to me! Thank you for reading and for all the love and support you guys have shown me in the last year. Also thank you for all the donations!
Have a great holiday weekend! Most important................Stay Black!
The IceHouse Comedy Club 626 577 1894 call for details!!!