About Me

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I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


                             What's happening beautiful people? Thats it, the last weekend of the Summer is upon us. Before you know it we'll be out trick or treating and then soon after that you'll be at a table with your family eating a turkey, and you know the rest of the story. It's going by quick. It seemed that time was slower when we were kids and you were dying to get old now when you get older time flies and you want that clock to slow the fuck down.
                             I guess the most important thing for me now is to make everyday count. I need to do something to justify my existance.  For a long time I was stagnant as a Comedian, things happened for me but a lot of things didn't. At this time last year I was thinking about getting a day job and moving on with my life. I didn't know what to do, then I discovered you guys and that changed me. I was on Facebook and Twitter but I didn't really understand what it was about. I thought it was about a bunch of pale fucked up people who stayed in all day stuck to a computer screen waiting to lay judgement. What I found was a bunch crazy motherfuckers that were looking for an outlet to have a great time and thats where I came in.
                           I started to play music videos to sort out the animals and I found them. I twitted  and Facebooked fucked up texts that go through my stoned perverted mind on a daily basis and you guys took the ride. Then I took a gamble, I wanted to do a podcast where I could be me and open up about all the good and bad things that I did and the lessons that I took from them and you guys listened, learned and forgave, laughed and at times cried .
                       When I did Stand-Up Revolution with Gabriel Iglesias, they gave us gift baskets and one of those gifts was a Sony Bloggie. A cute little camera that fits in your pocket and believe it or not, makes pretty good videos. When it comes to technology I'm lost, period but I wanted to ride and out the energy on the thing. It was a gift and I wanted to do something special with it, so myself and my partner Lee started doing MadflavorWorld Videos an inside look at my day, and my life, no stand up just my day, and again you guys responded so I had an idea!
                       Why not go back to Jersey and take it to the next level? I can show you all the things I spoke about on the podcast and bring the situation to life. For example the location where we burned the hookers wig, my High School, the first home I burglarized, my mothers bar, the place where my step Dad shot Nico on 148th Street and Broadway, the same place where I would sell glue to sticky Charlie as a kid. I'll take you to Rapido Taxi in Union City, the place where the dirty Cuban cop got shot a thousand times and tell you the story about how Santeria came into play there. I'll take you to the house where I grew up,the same place where I found my mother dead on the floor . I'll show you the Jersey neighborhood I grew up in and the house where Mr.Softee lived from the Iceman Chronicles. I'm going to introduce you to the people that were there for me from Carmine "The Torch" Balzano to my main man Lubes, the same guy I went to the Pink Floyd concert with on acid......I'm am going to open my life to you guys!
                       What I need from you guys is this, its going to cost about five thousand dollars to shoot this. I'm going to put in most of the money from the Town Theatre show in Buffalo into the shoot but I'm still short. I need to get another Bloggie and some microphones and bring in another guy to shoot and to edit also the cost of travel and transportation and meals and what not. I know times are tough but I'm not looking for much. What I'll do in return is this, I'll put your name at the end of the video as a producer. Its not much but you'll be a part of something, but most importantly,  we'll be connected in some way or another and I'll thank you for the rest of my life.
                     A few dollars is it, if you can thats good, and if you can't I undersand. I'll love you the same. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I'm sorry if you get insulted by my proposition, but you guys brought me back so I figured I'd come to you guys first.. There is a Paypal account set up and there is a link on this page, just click and do your thing. Thank you again, and have a GREAT week! Much Love ALWAYS..........................Diaz!

Monday, August 22, 2011


                   Whats happening beatuful people? I know, I don't write enough but its tough and I need something to write about that moves me. If it doesn't move me it won't do shit for you because I want you to feel me, so my apologies. Besides I'm giving you MadfavorWorld videos in its place. There a lot of fun to shoot. My friend Lee does all the work really but thats another story.
                   Last week I shot a pilot called, "All Rise". Its a courtroom comedy. The star of the show is Cedric The Entertainer, obviously he is the judge. In between takes him and I got to talking about how we had met. It was 1994 at a Black club called, "Club Mix" on East Colfax in Denver, Colorado. There was a comedy show there on Sunday nights that had great comics but also a few open mikers, one of them being me. There were only a few non blacks that could pull it off and for some reason I was one of them. I was just starting out. I didn't have any jokes I just went up there, danced and goofed around with the audience and believe it or not they liked it. One night Cedric came in to do a spot. After my set he came up to me looked me in the eye and told me I was crazy. It didn't mean good or bad, thats how I took it.
                A few weeks after that night I was contacted by some lady who told me she needed a tape of my set to enter me in some contest. I had no where else to tape so I contacted the management at "Club Mix" and asked if I could tape a set there, they said yes, no worries. That Sunday I went down there with my friend Kashina and she taped me. The next day I went to her home to watch the tape, it was fucking horrible. I wanted to cry. I was stuck so I sent the tape and prayed for the best, I never heard shit. Weeks later there was a shooting and someone died and that was the end of "Club Mix"
               I had forgotten all about that story. When Cedric and I spoke he reminded me. I asked him what he saw in me that made me crazy back then, his reply was that I didn't give a shit. Even though the material wasn't funny at all, I was commited to it at the time, and to be green and to have that commitment on stage meant that I had belief and I would end up somewhere. He never forgot. When I first bumped into him at the Comedt Store years later, he immediately gave me a hug even though he didn't have to and to boot, he put me in his sketch show along with Louis CK, thats at least 10 years ago and here we were again.
           The moral is I didn't see it but I believed. It was easy because at the time I was down and Comedy was all I had. If you know anything about me when I got into this, I gave up everything, even myself. I slept in cars, people couches, bus stations and what not. I ate more Subway veggie and cheeses sandwiches than anyone I had ever met. My goal was to be funny. I had no illusions about being famous or being a millionaire, I knew if I worked hard enough my goal would be accomplished but the goal I never looked at was the character it built and the things it taught me about myself, things I could never dream of. Today I'm happy, because of  me, because I stuck it out through all the bullshit in life and the bullshit I created, it wasn't easy.
        If your stuck in your life and there is something YOU want to do, commit! Thats the first step. Look at it and figure out what you have to do to make it possible and it WILL happen, take the chance Columbus did! Thank you for reading and have a great week!

See you @ The San Jose Improv Thursday night @8PM!
Special Announcement on MadflavorsWorld later this week!

Monday, August 1, 2011


                 What's happening beautiful people? How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people? I just had to say that. Hope everyone is alive and ticking. its August can you believe it? Time flies when your having fun. I went back to WeightWatchers yesterday to try and figure out this new point system but its a pain in the ass. I went back not because the diet wasn't working but because I'm ready for the next level. I went from 405 to 280 but in the pictures I looked sickly and my head looked huge, which it is. Who you kidding? So I decided to go back because so many people inquire about it I felt maybe we could lose the weight together like fucking mo-mo's! So I'm going to go down from 295 to 250 with you guys as my witness. Lets do this Bitches!
                In 94' when I was getting going with comedy. I was living in New York and decided to move back to Boulder to give it a go. I loved the comedy scene in New York at the time for my level but I was starting to slip and I could'nt take a bust for something stupid at this point in my life. I was also a Father going through a horrible divorce. I decided that I was going to go back, be a father and get my comedy career going. I moved back in late November and started my quest. I got a job selling cars and at night I went to every redneck bar in Denver and did comedy. I was barely getting by. I had my daughter on Wednesday and every other Sunday and I was happy with that. I would always do comedy especially on those nights because when I'd drop her off I'd be broken hearted. So I would take my pain and anger out on the mike. I wasn't good but my energy was entertaining and my stage presense was off the charts.
               In early 95' things started moving. I had like 18 minutes of solid material and believe it or not, I was getting work. I was from Jersey and had an accent so I was sort of a novelty on the scene. One day I get a call to do a showcase at the Denver Comedy Works. It was on a Tuesday night during the open mike. I think the guys name was Tim Testa. He was a great guy. I would get spots every other Tuesday and that was fine with me. I started hanging out more and more and I started getting star spots on Wednesday and Thursday nights which wasn't bad. I took a bus from Boulder to Denver and back it was fun.
          So here I was, my comedy was going great and my other life, fatherhood was in the toilet. I loved my daughter but it was tough. There was always a problem or I had done this or I had done that and don't get me wrong at the time, I was a one man wrecking crew. I was snorting and doing returns at department stores to make a living. It was sad but I was slowly putting it together. At the time, I had nothing but after 16 years, I was getting me back with something other than drugs or crime, it was called, Comedy. You write, you go out, you work and you go out the next night and do it again, the old fashioned way. I was seeing results. If I worked hard enough I could stop doing petty crimes and have a life for the first time even if I was 32 years old at the time.
       I became part of a scene. Comedians would invite me to there homes for parties. I was something other than a criminal, in those days I didn't talk about it like I do now. I was a fucking prude then. I thought if people knew they would'nt trust me or even like me so I would'nt say a fucking word then. One night I'm doing a Wednesday night star spot and for some reason or another I crush. I was fucking shock! The booker at the time was a sweet lady named, Wendy. She approached me and told me she loved it and that she was going to showcase me for weekend spots. All this in front of a comedian who I considered a friend. We spoke on the phone, did shows together, drove to gigs together and we even had plans to go cross country and showcase at different venues. He hears this and smiles, we high five or some shit and we move on. I really liked him. I can't remember his name, it was an Irish last name or something. Before I wrote this I hit a few guys up from that time to see if any body remembered but nobody did.
      One night about a week later. We're at The Comedy works after a show and some comics are hanging out drinking, laughing. An open mike girl who was cute and sassy came by, she was flirty and always kind of loose but no one slept with her that type of girl. I knew her, she was nice. She saw me and if you've ever been there, it goes down on a slope, like a hill into a small theatre. I was in the back getting something or another. When I walk out she see's me and inocently runs down at me and jumps up at me. My immediate reaction was to catch her. When she lands my hands land in a certain position  on her ass cheeks. Nine out of ten that would be everyones reaction. We hugged, she kissed me hello and that was that. Everyone was there and everyone saw it. About a week goes by. Wendy is giving me spots that week on Wednesday and Thursday, I'm exited as fuck. Wednesday morning I get a call from Wendy and she tells me that the girl called or showed up and said that I had grabbed her ass in a sexual way. That she had contacted their attorneys so I was now banned from the club. I sat there in complete disbelief. It took me years to get my life together and now this. There were 2 other clubs in the area but this was the premiere club. If you want to be at the top you have to hang and learn from the best, this was that place.
        I went into a depression. I had nothing. My life with my daughter sucked that was going no where fast. I lived in a small studio Rocky apartment. I had a beat up car. I had no family, I had nothing but myself........myself. I thought about my next move. I had nothing to stay there for, and the funny thing, it was that comic who was my friend who talked the girl into talking to Wendy. It was fucked up. In my eyes I was done. Was I?
     I was walking around with a ton of anger in my heart then. I was shafted by my step dad after my Mother died, I was shafted by my wife, now this. The world was against me. The worst thoughts came into my head. I was going to ice my wife, her new boyfriend, and my plan was to do life in prison but at the same time write jokes for Jay Leno. Now I was going to add this fucking rat to my list and go away forever. I would stay up at night snorting coke and by the end of the night I would be there crying with my nose dripping thinking about giving up. Was this it?
    I thought about it and I came up with a compromise. I wasn't going to kill anyone and throw away a life. From the results I had seen I knew in my heart if I kept working I would get funnier and funnier and one day I would show them. For years Rogan would go to Denver and he would ask about bringing Joe Diaz and they would say I was banned for Sexual Harrasment, do you have any idea how embarrasing that is. I'm a thief, piece of shit street guy, I've done a lot of bad things in my life but a sexual predator........Stop it! I was raised by s fucking strong woman, so yes I fucked up and I get thrown out, and yes I was in the gutter and yes I was going to kill motherfuckers and yes! Here I am! 20 years later showing you motherfuckers that when your back is against the wall, its in our nature, thats when animals do there best work! Thats what it means to keep pushing. Today I laugh and guess what, even though their nice people and all, they pushed the wrong fucking person because here I am telling you, anything is fucking possible and again I don't have my own TV show and I'm far from rich or famous but nobody ever talks about being happy because you proved your motherfucking point!
  Thank you for reading, people and situations are going to get in your way. Take a good luck, put your goggles on and fuck them! You could take everything from a person but you can't take their heart! Much love, have a good week and Stay Black!
   See you August 10th at The Brea Improv! MadFlavorWorld launching tonight get ready!

August 13th Milwaukee
August 19th-20th Scottsdale
August 25th San Jose Improv...........Banana Bread Thursday 8PM