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I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

KILLING TIME

                          What's happening beautiful people? Hope all is well in your lives. I'm sorry I haven't written much but  I've been busy. Can you believe there are only 6 more shoplifting days till Xmas? I can't believe the season is upon us, all you can do is sit back and enjoy.
                          I was sitting there yesterday looking at the calender and I noticed it was the 16th. As usual I thought about the date, it didn't ring a bell but the 18th did, its my friend Devo's birthday and also on that date in 83', I burglarized some chic dealers house in Aspen for a score but there was more, what was it? It was the night I won the Beck's Comedy Competition in Boulder twenty years ago, in reality, that was the turning point in my life.
                        The first time I got on stage in a legitimate comedy club was July of 91'. I tried it  because I wanted to see what it was like. I asked around and it seemed like it took a while to get established and there was a lot of starving involved in the process. At the time I had a wife and a child and I had been out of prison about 18 months and it just did not seem viable. It was a rush though, the lights, the people laughing, the applause, you walk off stage feeling like Superman. I was 28 at the time and I had done every drug but that feeling that stage had givin me was mind boggling, then you come down and you think about your past and your family and the people around you at the time and say, fuck it, I'm a loser, I could never do that and there you are.
                       The next day I went back to my job and my life and that was that. At lunch that week I picked up a local paper and in the entertainment section there was an add for a Comedy Contest that was going to be held at this Bar-Restaurant that I had been to in the past called, The Broker, they had a tremendous Sunday brunch and the place was kind of fancy.  I made a mental note but in my heart because of my situation I would be wasting my time.
                      That September I took a trip back to New Jersey alone to see some friends for a few days. While I was back there, I decided to go into The City one night and watch an open mike where comedians would go up. It was in a Bar in Hell's Kitchen and it lasted till about 3AM. I remember walking out of there and deciding that when I would return to Boulder, I was going to try that contest, regardless of my situation.
                      I got back to Boulder and immediately called the club and tried to get on the contest, they told me no, I had to have some type of reference or a tape or some shit so there went my dream. But before I could mourn it I ran into another problem, my wife and I decided that it was best if she moved out for a while to give us a breather because we really were unhappy together. I was looking for something but I didn't know what it was and she was in the same dillema. We had a child together but something was definately missing, I was sad but at the same time I knew this could be the answer to my problems.
                     A few weeks later I'm at a friends scoring coke or someshit and I'm telling him about this contest and how I couldn't get into the contest because this or that and he stops me and says, that guy is my buddy, I'll give him a call on Monday and I'll ask him, in the back of my mind I'm thinking, this is the coke talking, so I took it with a grain of salt. Monday night my phone rings and its my boy telling me to call the guy and he'll put me up. I get the number and call, he answers and tells me to come by the next day. How much time do I need to do? He tells me five minutes and I almost shit myself, it would take me all night to write five minutes, I thanked him, hung up and got to work.
                   The next night I show up with a suit and some fucked up material about Godzilla attacking New York and believe it or not, I won, not the contest but an opportunity to come back and advance to the finals, which were in December on the 18th to be exact. At the time it was the beginning of November so I had time to prepare.
                    For months I watched every stand up tape I could rent. I wrote with out knowing anything and I got on stage whenever I could, bombing and getting stared at and boo'd at every shit hole venue I would go up at. The only place I did half way decent were the poetry readings at the hippie joints in Boulder because they were stoned and would just sit there and smile, it was a nightmare.
                    Finally the night came. I showed up nervous as fuck. There would be four other comedians and myself and they all looked better than me, in more ways than one. My insecuritie levels were higher than usual. I couldn't think from the fear. I didn't have a wife or a child anymore, I had no job because it was working with her brothers, I had no formal training in anything but crime, I had no savings, I had no family, I was an ex convict and in reality, I had nothing but myself and the sense of humor that kept me from blowing my fucking brains out at the age of sixteen when  I realized I was alone in this world and right there at that moment I thought to myself, I'm going to be alone up on that stage, thats my specialty.  I could do this and with that some fucking magician comes up to me and says, your next!
                I don't remember what I said on that stage but those fuckers were howling for five minutes straight or at least thats how it seemed to me. When I got off the stage by the looks of the other comics faces, I knew I had won. The judges had to count the votes and then they would announce it but there was drama. One of the comedians told one of the judges that I wasn't an open miker because I had gotten paid to do a gig months earlier. I was in shock! The gig in question was an open mike in some shit hole bar in Greely were the booker would give you five dollars for gas because of the distance. They decided I wasn't a professional and I won the contest and the Five Hundred dollars which at the time felt like a half million because I had earned it without a gun or a scale. It was all me. I made copies of the check and stapled it to my Comedy resume at the time, I was such a fucking geek!
               That dumb night made me realize that I was something more than a junkie thief. I couldn't believe I could get paid for making people laugh. I decided to give it a year until something else came along and nothing ever did come along, but here I am. Its so stupid to think that a contest decided my fate and set the path to who I am today. Even if I wouldn't have won that night, knowing who I was back then still would have made me a winner because I went out of my comfort zone, I had nothing and I had nothing to lose so I went for it and what I really got wasn't a career it was a purpose, which in turn overcame all the stupid shit I was doing and the purpose won. That's the real reason I'm always in a good mood in the morning, because I know things could've turned out a lot different.
            Thank you very much for reading and thank you for all the support and the love. I hope you and your families have a great Holiday! I love you all of you ball lickers......Stay Black!
               
                   
                   

11 comments:

  1. Much love, Coco. You are a special dude and a real light in my life. I'm grateful for all the stories and positivity that you put into the universe. Here's to another year!

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  2. Very inspiring. Gives hope to us who have shitty jobs at the moment but dream of bigger things...Believe in yourself, smoke weed, and most importantly of all...STAY BLACK!

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  4. Love this blog entry. You are an inspiration, sir!

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  5. You're the man, Coco. Who you got in Larkin vs. Mousasi?

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  6. your life reminds me of the greatest song ever written "redemption song". keep shining dog.

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  7. You spoke from the heart, well written. I felt that tale to my bones. Take care.

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  8. Great blog Joey. As ever you're honesty and willingness to open yourself to strangers allows us all to see what a great man you are. You're an inspiration for anyone that wants to change their path or set themselves a goal.

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  9. You are one of my greatest inspirations! You are so hilarious yet insightful, keep doing what you're doing. Much Love!

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  10. You actually made me cry a little...I'm so proud of you for hanging in there and making your dreams come true! Love ya

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  11. Much love Coco, have a merry christmas cocksucker.

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