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I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Friday, October 14, 2011


                           What's happening beautiful people? How the fuck have you been? I know I'm a piece of shit. I've fallen behind on my blog writing. Its not that I'm lazy its just that I'm trying to focus on my One Man Show and I'm also trying to put a book together, so its tough but between you and I, the blogs are my building blocks so I'm back and thats thats!
                           Its hard to believe but writing the one man show has taken me to some dark places and at times I get sad but what can you do. The other morning I was sitting in my office and I got caught looking at a collage a friend had made of a few pictures of my youth. One of those shots is myself and a bunch of guys hanging out at Carmine Balzanos house for a party. For a second I started to think about that particular day. It was the summer of 76' and I was thirteen. At the time my mom and step dad were still together. She owned a bar which she ran solo along with a numbers bank in the City and at the time my step dad was partners in a flower shop but he also ran a numbers bank in Jersey.
                       We would all wake up early. My mom would make breakfast and we'd talk about business or the Mets or some shit. She'd also tell me what I had to do that day and give me options. She'd say you could either go with me to the bar and work for a few hours and make some cash,then take a ride to the City for lunch and up to Harlem to check on the banks or you could stay home, vacuum, walk up the hill and pay the phone bill or some shit and figure out lunch and dinner on my own.
                        Then my step dad would come down and make me a similiar offer. He'd want me to take a ride to the City and pick up roses, destem them then go back to West New York and help out at the numbers bank or stay home and cut the grass or clean the garage or some shit. I'd tell them both that I would stay home and they would flip. What are you going to do all day? Stay home and shoot hoops? There's no one in your family over 6 feet! You have to do something with your life! You better have everything done by the time we get back!
                     As soon as they would leave I would go straight to the park to practice for a few hours. Then by lunch when it got hot I would do my errands. After a few hours I was ready for Carmines house. They had 4 boys, a basketball hoop and a built in pool. There mother would cook something for lunch it was great. My mom and step dad would come home at some point of the day unannounced to check on me and make sure I had done my work but besides that I was on my own all day. While I was thinking about it I became sad for a minute but why? They had givin me choices but I chose to be alone. Was it trust? Was my mom a bad mom?
                    While I was growing up my step dad made some rules but my mom really ran the show. She was very independent minded in a way. She wanted me to experience everything. The other day I was doing laundry and I thought to myself, how long have I been doing laundry for? Since I was 7! My mom taught me how to do all that shit at an early age. She would always tell me that some day I would be married and I'd have to help my wife, thirty five years later there I am doing laundry. My point, if there is one is that in a way my mother was preparing me for life. I've spoken about this before but it really hit home the other day. I was basically living like that since I was in the 6th grade. I would get home from school and there would be a note with cash. Either I could cook the steak, go out to eat or come to the bar and work. Somedays I took the cash and went to the 4 Star diner and got myself a BlT with a milkshake, like a Doctor! Somedays I would cook the steak and keep the cash and some days I'd walk up the hill work at the bar hit her for another 20 and forget about the one on the table, she was basically teaching me how to hustle on my terms! I think now that she did a great job!
                 We all have dark shit from our childhood that makes us think. Fuck it! What does it matter its the past and fuck it we're still here, so in reality, it wasn't that bad and most importantly, we got something out of it. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry. I'm going to get back on it so never fear....Uncle Joey's here!
                  Before I forget on Monday the Director of the documentary( Lee Syatt from Isreal) and myself are getting together to see what we shot and start putting it together. We have some work to do but think it should be out by mid-December. I'd like to take a minute to thank everyone for your support and donations. Without you guys it would not be possible. We're not going to tell you lies about big screen bullshit, this is for us, short and sweet and  funny and to the point and your going to love it! I'll keep you posted.
                As far as MadFlavorsWorld, we're not coming back till the documentary is released but we're coming back bigger and better. I'm looking for sponsors right now and getting everything set up so if you guys know of any up and coming businesses that need to get the word out, email me and we'll get something going.
              Besides that, all is well. The cats are good and healthy, the wife is an animal and I still love you guys. I'm doing the One Man show Wednesday at The IceHouse @ 8:30 if you want to hear some good stories come on down. Much love to you cocksuckers. Have a great weekend and STAY BLACK!!!!!!


  1. As always short, sentimental, and from the heart. I can't help but read it in Joey's voice.

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  2. Great read once again Joey, keep it coming, and good look out there. Te cuidas!

  3. You've come a long way since the MySpace blog days, my friend. Excellent read as always!

  4. Another good one.....
    We look forward to another visit from you in Austin TX!!!