About Me

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I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Thursday, October 27, 2011


                           Greetings cocksuckers! Booooo! Yeah good its Halloween. If your over 15 and you give a fuck or are thinking of a costume, go shoot yourself. Halloween ended for me when the put a ceiling on my trick or treating income. I remember trick or treating and getting dollar bills. Then it got down to quarters then to pennies and some candy, fuck it, I had better things to do. Then as I got older I would dress up from time to time but it was basically to case a joint for dogs and valuables.
                        I sit here everyday and read about mortgages and prices and no jobs and no this and no that and you think about it and all that is true but one of the few things they don't mention that we lost in this Country was our ability to hustle. What happen to the hustle? I remember being a kid and seeing guys not much older than me hanging on a corner in the day time laughing and telling stories. I would come over and say hello and listen and try to understand what they were talking about. I would ask them if they worked and they would answer, yes but we mostly hustle?
                       So I wanted to grow up and hustle. But little did I know I was doing it already. When I was about 7 years old I was living in Manhatan on 88th Street. It was the upper West side and even then in the early seventies it was a fu-fu type neighborhood. My Mom lived there because we were living by ourselves and my mom dealt in cash and the building had security plus its what she wanted for me in a way. She also wanted me to be street smart so on the weekends she'd send me to my godmothers on 148th Street and Broadway. It was a rougher state of mind and it taught me how the other half lived. I had kids I played with on 88th Street but they were nothing like the kids on 148th Street. The kids on 88th Street came out early and played. The kids on 148th street, made money first, then played.
                      We picked up bottles and brought them back for a nickel a piece. We stole newspapers out of the macines and sell the papers half price at the train stations. We made deals with landlords to sweep and take the garbage out of the buildings. Later on I figured out a way to make money off a glue junkie by buying the glue by the box and selling it to Sticky Charlie for a quarter over cost, that was me at 10.
                      My mom even at that early age made me work at her bar. From sweeping to loading the ice machines, to cleaning the bathrooms, from the urinals to that little metal box in the stalls in the womans bathroom, I did it all. My mom did that not because we needed the money but because she was showing me a good work ethic. She would inspect everything and make me do it over from scratch.
                      When the bar closed in 78, I was 15 so I was left without a hustle. Did I sit and cry? Fuck No! My older friends would drive to Pennsylvania on the weekends to pick up acid and other goodies from these scientist that went to a college up there. I caught wind of what they were doing and I wanted in. I would get microdot acid for 90$ for 100 hits and sell them for 3 dollars. I'd buy black beauties for 1000 for 35$ and sell them for a dollar a piece or 35$ for a 100. Yes I was selling drugs but I was learning something more valuable than any class in school could teach me......Belly to belly sales, one of the most important things I ever did. Why? Because it prepared me for life. I could always make a living!
                      That wasn't just my attitude but everyone around me. I get up early and I have been for years even when I was doing blow because I've always known that the early bird gets the worm, not just that but it gives me a step up to what other people aren't doing. In this type of economy you have to do what the other guy isn't doing. So you put your resume on some web page, guess what? So did everybody else thats not working. Go down there. Get up, shine your shoes, make them a deal, you'll work for free something but its better than sitting there. I've said it for years, nothing happens in your living room.
                     I'm a comedian, but from time to time I get lucky and I book a film or something. When I first got here, all those films I was in from "Analyze That" to "The Longest Yard", I got because I hustled. They didn't want to see me, who the fuck was I?  So I got a script read it and picked a scene and put it on tape. While my agent was at home figuring a bright idea to get me in there. I took matters into my own hands and did it. Where did I learn that? From my days as a hustler because thats what hustling is, like Nike' said.........just do it!!!! As a Country we have forgotten that.
                 I don't want to sound like Johnny Patriot here because I'm not. I'm a convicted felon and I have made mistakes like all of us, but this Country is in trouble and guess what? None of these mo-mo's can save us. They come along every 4 years with the same story and what? Nothing happens, we end up in a worst place than what we started. That why I dont and have never really followed politics, first off I'm from Hudson County and I saw corruption first hand and second in the hour you spend talking about it you can be doing constructive for yourself, why give them the spotlight.
                  Listen Occupy Wall Street and all the other grassroots movements that are going to pop up are great for the people because it brings awareness and it shines a light on our situation in this Country. The real change is going to happen when we claim responsiblity for ourselves and really analyze what is our next move. If you haven't worked in a year I understand your pain. I understand that you've been a                for years. I understand you went to school for years but its time to think outside the box. Start a different career, something you've never done before but you always wanted to try. Its hard but its harder sitting there. Always remember this.... McDonalds is always hiring but its our pride. Thats why my mom made me clean those bathrooms and that little metal box in the womans stall, as a reminder that your never to good!

                 Have a great week(Whats left) and a safe Halloween and remember the most important thing...............Stay Black!!!!!!


  1. "Halloween ended for me when the put a ceiling on my trick or treating income." Brilliant!

  2. Thank you, a good read. Thanks for the Beauty and Da Beast Podcast too, I've been shaking my head in disgust today everytime I see someone cleaning up after their dog, leave it for the kids man!!!

    Love form England :-)

  3. fucking awesome read man, stay black cocksuckaa