What's happening beautiful people? Hope your having a great week and things are going your way. It's tough out there for a Pimp, but you've got to keep on pushing because as you know, time waits for no one. All you hear about these days are people going to rehabs or fat farms or this or that but its amazing how you can throw all these different roadblocks at people to get better but deep down inside it all ends with you and this process could be easy or it could be hard, again thats up to you.
As you know I struggled with Cocaine addiction for years. It was getting old and I knew for me rehab was not the answer. I didn't know what to do then I remembered something from my youth that gave me the answers to my problems. When I was a kid, I was hooked on pacifiers or as my mom called them, El Tete! I didn't go anywhere without them. I would be playing with kids and in the middle of the action, I would call a timeout sneak away and suck on my Te-te. I had them hidden all around the house and it was my moms and I little secret. Whenever I would do something wrong my mother would say, 'If you don't behave I'm going to tell your friends about El tete and I'd behave.
My mother was a collector of antique dolls. She had them all over the living room. She loved them dolls especially this one Japanese one that had interchangable hairdoo's. My father had brought it back for her as a gift and after he died it was sacred to my mom. I was the devil growing up. I never stopped. One of the things I did to break my moms balls was to play ball in the house. I would throw a Spaulding ball off the wall and she would go crazy. She would warn me that one day I was going to break something and she was going to break my head. I didn't listen and about a week later sure enough I broke something, her favorite doll.
I tried to glue it and fix it but it was broken. Eventually she found out but she didn't break my head. Instead she made me a deal. She told me I could pay for it with the money I earned stocking beer and cleaning bathrooms at my moms bar or I could give her all my Tetes and we would be even. That was a tough call. I was very crazy about my money back then. I would hide it and count it everyday. I wasn't about to give that up and I wasn't giving up my Tetes so we were going to have a problem. She let me sleep on it and I was to give her an answer in the morning.
When I woke up she was right there waiting for her answer. I thought long and hard. I wasn't giving up the money. So I opted for the te-tes. It was the worst day of my life. I remember walking around the house putting all my tetes in a big garbage bag. There must have been 60 of them and I cried over everyone, It was traumatizing. I remember sitting in my room thinking, How was I going to cope?
Days went by and I forgot all about my Tete, life went on. There was no rehab, no story, no hugs.that's it. Why couldn't everything be that easy? It is! I was young and there was no thinking about anything, you just did it! The decision always begins with you, deep inside. Once you tell yourself you can do something its scary. It doesn't have to be an addiction, it could be something as simple as a goal of yours that you can't seem to crack. Everybody is worried about how? The answer is always in front of you. It all begins with you! Just fucking do it! Whats all the talking about?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Have a great week and remember..........................Stay Black!