Happy Monday! It's a beautiful day to be alive! I really do love Mondays because it feels like you get a new lease on life. I love getting up early, smoking a number and planning out my goals for the week. This week is a special week for me in a way because 20 years ago this Saturday, I did something that changed my life forever.
In 1989 I came out of prison and checked in to a halfway house in Boulder. I was free. From the moment I left that hole I knew I wasn't going back and I had to get my life in order. I got a job selling cars and played the game for a while. In June that year I got my girlfriend pregnant so I made plans to get married that september. I needed cash so I went back to what I knew best, Hustling. I continued to sell cars but I started selling blow again, right there in the halfway house. I also started to loanshark because you had to pay rent on Thursday so you could have a furlough that weekend, so there I was getting 102.00 for 85.00 it was great. I had about 20 clients.
Right before I got married I got this feeling that I wasn't doing what I really wanted to do with my life. Yes, I was making money but I just wasn't happy. I wanted more out of life. I knew construction so I got a job as a roofer for my inlaws. I loved it. I was outside in the sun and I was having fun. Eventually I got a promotion to become an estimator and I was on my way. I did that for a year but I knew there was more out of life. You work all week then on Saturdays and Sundays you hang with your family and your inlaws and thats it. Once a year you go on vacation and see Mickey Mouse and thats it till I'm 65, thats what your trying to tell me. I couldn't believe it.
I really wanted more. I was bored. I wanted action. I tried everything. I meditated, I went and got confirmed at 28 because I thought I needed the Holy Spirit in my life, that didn't work. Then one afternoon it was raining and I was home watching TV and the movie "Punchline" came on. I remember sitting there thinking my head was going to explode. This is what I wanted to do. I had a bunch of Richard Pryor albums, plus people had always told me to try Stand up because I was funny. But the biggest confidence builder I had was my time in the can because on Thursday nights before movie night the invicts would make me go up and say a few things while they were getting the projecter ready. I would go off about the prison and some of the guys, it was great. So I knew I could do it.
I thought about it for a while and changed my mind. It was just a dream. About a week later, I'm in a diner having breakfast and I decide to pick up the paper and see what was happening. In the entertainment section they had a story about Standup comedy and how to start a career doing it. I wrote down the number to a 3 week course they were offering. I called the number and enrolled. The class was great. At the end you had to do a 2 minute performance. When I was walking out the teacher pulled me over and told me to pursue it. That was February. I knew what I had to do but couldn't pull the trigger.
A new Comedy Club was opening up in Westminster Colorado named, "Wits End" and they were looking for help. I got a job as a doorman. I watched the acts and asked questions, never telling anyone of my secret dream. I would call the other comedy club in Denver and sign up for the open mike but when the date came I would call and cancel with some excuse. By this time, I was fucking miserable. I hated my job, I hated being married. I hated my life but most importantly, I hated me. What had become of my balls. I could kidnap people and shake people down and play gangster but I couldn't and wouldn't go on stage because I was scared. Finally I talked myself into it. On June 18th 1991, I decided to try it. Even though I hated my wife at the time she came down for support.
I got up there. It was scary but after the first laugh, I loosened up. I walked off that stage and I realized that this was it. That feeling of being scared, then being happy, your adrenaline pumping it was amazing, I remember walking off stage and looking at my wifes face. She saw something different in me. I had finally found something other than drugs. I found peace in a way because at the moment I realized what I wanted to do, the mystery was over.
Here I was with everything I thought I wanted out of life, a family, a good job, money, security. It didn't fill the void. Happinees is everything, your happiness. Shortly after that we got separated and divorced. I lost my job with her family, she took my furniture, even my spoons and forks. I was left with a mattress and a VCR, thats it. I remember sitting there in this empty room. Thinking had I made a mistake, but knowing that I'd be OK because I had found my calling. I had to start all over again. That was October of 91'
I fucked around for a few years then in October of 94, I decided to take control of my career and go for it. The reason I wrote about this today is because I come in contact with so many people who are lost because they don't know what they want to do with there life and even when they find out they don't know or are too scared to get started. Sometimes we know something will change our life but we choose to avoid it. Fuck it! At least give it a try. I put my pants on one leg at a time like the rest of you. I'm not special I was just dumb enough to try it. Do me a favor, think about what I wrote. I had what every man wants but that wasn't enough. Sometimes its better to want then to have. I'm not rich, I'm not very successful. I don't have a TV show but I have me. And I've had me for 20 years now thanks to that night.
This Saturday night I'll be taping, "Stand Up Revolution" for Gabrial Eglesias in Arizona at Stand Up Phoenix. Look at the date, June 18th! 20 years later it paid off. I don't know of Comedy Central will use my set but it doesn't matter, because the gambled paid off and even if it didn't I still took the chance, I gambled on myself! The most important bet you'll ever make!
Have a great week and thank you for taking the time..........Much Love but most importantly............Stay Black!