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I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Sunday, August 26, 2012


                                              Whats happening beautiful people? That's it, the last weekend of the Summer is upon us, I hope you enjoyed it because if its up to the Mayans it will be our last one. I never really got caught up in all that shit, its over when its over, what are you going to do? You get up every morning with a smile on your face because it could be your last and you give it everything you got, thats it, fuck the Mayans, religion and whatever else they're trying to sell you.
                                              I was having breakfast with my Uncle a few weeks back and in the middle of a conversation he interupted and told me he was proud of me. He told me that more than anyone, he knew where I came from and what I had gone through and he told me that my Mother would have been proud. I took it as a compliment, considering that this was the same Uncle I tried to rob in 84" and to be honest with you, he's a Valdez from my Mothers side, those motherfuckers never say a nice word about anybody, so I found it amusing.
                                            He asked me what was it that made me change, I told him that I had just gotten sick of living that crazy life so I calmed down but on the drive home I thought about the defining moment that changed my life forever. It wasn't prison or getting beat up or sleeping in my car for a few months that made me change, it was one thing.....claiming responsibility!
                                             As a young child I was spoiled by my Mother, I had a step father that I love and respected, our relationship was great until about the age of 11, then something changed, I never did anything, that was me. Who broke the glass? Who took the change? Who broke the window in the basement? Not me! Weren't you in the basement throwing a ball with your friends? No I wasn't. I never did anything and it killed my step father. He would tell my Mother that the quality would affect later in life but her and I didn't listen and one day he left.
                                           A couple of years later my Mom passed, and I had to shit or get off the pot, there was no time for playing games. I became a man quickly, I was thrown to the wolves and I had responded or so I thought. I was a troubled kid but hey, I was out there solo, eventually I would figure it out. I did great for the circumstances but I couldn't grow as a man, I tried but something was missing.  In 87' I got arrested and before my sentencing they made an appointment with a probation officer that makes evaluations for the court, she said in the transcripts that I would never get in trouble again but after all the interviews that they had conducted that I had not claimed responsibilty for my actions, I thought they wanted me to snitch, if that's what it meant then fuck them.
                                         Once I got inside I asked my councelor, what that meant not claiming responsibilty and he took his glasses off and took a long pause and said that I had been chucking and jiving for years, it was my turn to come to my reality of what I wanted to do. He told me I didn't belong there but I would stay there till I realized what I had done. I thanked him and thought long and hard and I understood what he meant. For years I fucked around on other peoples dime, not that I was a mooch but I'd live on peoples couches but snort blow every night, and then be short on the rent. My friends never cared they loved me for who I was but I was fucking myself.
                                          Eventually one day I said if something goes wrong, its me. Not the guy that didn't pick me up. or the guy who lied about the job, or the alarm not going off, there was always an excuse, when you're a man, theres never an excuse its always on you. I do stand up with comics and when they bomb they blame the people,the number of people, the sound system, the economy, the air conditioning, the comic before them, the Kennedy assasination, the Mars landing.......Get it together, maybe its you, or me, as a matter of fact, I blame me for everything so theres no misunderstandings .If something goes wrong its either something with you or something you let happen, its you!!!!
                                         So if you're stuck in your life and you don't know your next move because of this or that, its not this or that its your fault, take responsibilty, accept it and move on. My step Father Juan would say, kids don't accept responsibility, men do. I didn't become a man till I was 38 years of old but I'm happy I finally did.
                                        Don't forget "Testicle Testaments" at The IceHouse Stage 2 Wednesday night @ 8:30 pm and don't forget Testicle Testament: Crime Stories will be released Friday the 31st on iTunes also, thank you for the support. I also have some NEW dates and T-shirts posted on my Website at WWW.Joeycocodiaz.net
                                            Thank you again for laughing at my stupid jokes and for the love you guys give me.....Have a great week and.....STAY BLACK!

August 29th IceHouse Stage 2 8:30pm 626 577 1894
August 30th Fiamma Italian Restaurant Thousand Oaks 9PM
September 13th-16th Rick Bronsons MINN 952 858 8558
September 20th Madison Wis With Duncan Trusselhttp://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/266991
September 21st Milwaukee Wis With Duncan Trusselhttp://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/267033
September 27th-29th Baltimore Comedy Factory
October 4th Houston Improv
October 5th Dallas Improv
November 1st-4th Ontario Improv
November 8th Chicago HOB
November 15th 17th Scottsdale Arizona
September 21st Milwaukee Wis With Duncan


  1. As a mooch trying to get my shit togethor your entirely shitty situation makes mine look like a fuckin' a fucking game of tic tac toe.

  2. Good story! You are right 100%, its the individuals responsibility. People just dont fucken get it!

  3. Thank you Mr. Diaz...Keep inspiring us Uncle Joey.