About Me

My photo
I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Thursday, March 15, 2012


                   What's happening beautiful people? Hope your having a great week so far and I hope your preparing yourself for St. Patty's Day. I was never a big St.Patty's type of guy, I love the Irish, I've just never been a big drinker so its never worked for me. I could only drink after a couple of bumps and its not cool to bump while the sun is out, thats always a disaster. I can't wait till we celebrate a Saint thats responsible for reefer, I'll be there at 7AM, rolling bones with 2 crosses on!

                   As you guys know, when I was younger, I was a bit of a criminal. By the age of 20, I had been involved in some crazy stuff and people would always approach me with a scam from time to time. I had a friend named Heavy Sy, that was a phony insurance type guy. He would set up accidents, then take you to an Attorney who was in on it along with the Doctors and the Chiropractors. One day Sy came up to me and told me that he had a score. I asked what type? He tells me all I have to do is fall and he would take care of the rest. One night, I tell him I'm ready and he picks me up and takes me to the front of a Sporting good store where there was a small crack in the sidewalk. He tells me to walk up to the crack, trip and fall in case they hit you with a lie detector test, lie detector test? He laughs and I fall.
                 I get up and we go to some hospital, he pulls over and lets me out a half a block before the emergency room, he tells me that he can't be seen at the hospital, and that they had cameras, he told me when I was finished, the nurses would call him and he'd pick me up. On the way home that night after the hospital took x-rays and smiled, he told me he would meet me the next day to take me to see my new Attorney, I told him no problem.
                 The next day we meet the Attorney and he tells me the strategy, you go to the Chiropractor everyday and you make all your Doctor appointments, keep your mouth shut do what they tell you and in a year, you'll get a nice payday, everytime you go to a Doctors visit, its like punching in at the factory, the higher the hospital and Doctors bills were, multiply that by 10 and hopefully, thats what your check will be.

                 At the time, I was just hustling and part of my hustle was to get to all of my meetings on a daily basis. About 5 months into it, I get stupid one day and decide to clip the Chiropractor's check book, I give it to a friend and he gets caught pushing the checks in New York City. I didn't know if they had my name, so I decided to stop going to this particular Doctor from the embarrasment.
                A few months later, I get caught up in some shit and I decide to take off to Colorado were I forget about the whole deal with the Doctors and the Lawyers. About a year later, I move back to Jersey and on a coke binge I bump into Heavy Sy and he tells me that the Attorney had a check for me in his desk. The next day I contact the guy and he tells me that he had the check but he had to send it back to the insurance company because he had never heard back from me, but if I came in and did the paperwork, he would have them cut me a check in 10 days. After about 2 weeks, the guy contacts me and ask me to come down and pick it up, when I get there, I shake his hand and he passes me my Do-Re-Me! I go outside, open the envelope and the number on the check is, 18,223.00! Eighteen Grand! I have my friends Dad cash the check and I took off to Colorado and never thought twice about it, the date was June 26th 1985.

           In August of 88', I was sentenced to serve 6 years in prison for Kidnapping, Burglary and Aggravated Robbery, it wasn't as bad as it sounds, it was really a drug rip gone bad. Since it was my first offense and my Attorney(not the same swindler from Jersey) plea bargained it down to a non violent crime, I got to a halfway house by February of 90' and I got released from there in February of 91', all together, my little fuck up had cost me about 2 1/2 years of my life, not bad because in my heart, I thought I was going to go away for about 6 years, my first real plea bargain was 9, so I just sat there and smiled.
           Then another thought came into my mind, the true cash cost of the case, I netted about 18,500 from the powder I had stolen, not bad. When I sat down and added up the Attorney bills, what the private investigator cost and the different specialist that we had to pay to testify, do you know what the final number was? 18,320.00!!!! I thought about the number and for some reason it rang a bell, oh my God, what did I get for that settlement? 18,220! I sat there and just immediately got the chills, life had sent me a reciept, not to mention, I also lost 3 years of my life, I sat back and decided that the time I served was for all my other sins and between you and I, that was the moment that I found out that life was a motherfucker and I also found out that Karma was real, I was happy because for the first time in my life, I was free. I had paid my debt to society but I had also paid my debts to life, which in a way, was a bigger debt than the one to society because thats the one that earns you a shot at a second chance, don't get me wrong, I continued to fuck around for a few more years, I just watched what I did a little closer because I knew that now, I would pay for everything I did from that moment on.

                Thank you for reading and for understanding where the fuck I'm coming from. I also want to take this moment and apologize because I'm going to have to push back the release of the documentary until Monday, April 2nd. We have 6 hours of North Bergen footage, 2 hours of One Man show footage from The IceHouse, and 2 hours of sit down interviews with myself and other people. Lee (The Director from Isreal) has a previous project that he's involved with in the day time, and the night time is the only time he really has, we'll be getting together this weekend to look over what he has and who knows, it might go out early but we want to give you something we'll be proud of. We are also planning on a screening/comedy show/smokeout for sometime in late April for all the supporters of our film, thank you for understanding.

            If you liked my little story, make sure you come out to The IceHouse for "Stories" the Criminal ones on Thursday March 22nd @ 8:30PM 626 577 1894. I'll also be @ The Miami Improv March 29th -31st 305 441 8200. The New CD is not on iTunes yet but its Still #1 on Payloadz.com and its still 5 Beans$!!!! Besides that, thank you for ALL the support and the love, see you soon and remember....Stay Black because at the end of the week, thats the most important thing!


  1. Karma's a bitch Joey! Ya know I always here people talking about that shit "oh some fucker stiffed me on a 60$ bill at olive garden tonight, karma will get them back!"

    People only give a shit with it fucks with them, they never think about what they did in the past to get shit on today!

    Stay high mother fucker! Take it easy on the wheat, we need coco around as long as possible!

  2. awesome story Joey, you're an inspiration.
    keep it up

  3. Thanks for sharing your life lesson with us brother, Stay Black :)

  4. Such a story your a fucking legend uve had some mad live my man keep her lit

  5. Such a story your a fucking legend uve had some mad live my man keep her lit