About Me

My photo
I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

"IT"S EITHER YOU OR THE PRIEST"

                                        Happy New Year! What's happening beautiful people?  Hopefully all is well and your starting the year off with a bang. The last week has been hectic because I was getting ready for knee surgery next week, but the date got pushed back till February 7th, so now I have some time to breath so I figured I'd drop a little note on you.
                                        When I was 11 years old, I was at a friends house who had an older brother that was a heroin junkie. We'd be there practicing Karate forms and the brother would show up stoned and beat us both up. I really didn't like the guy but before he would nod off into palukaville, he would play a particular album and break down the whole dynamic of the bands music, believe it or not it was pretty amazing. From Led Zeppelin 2 to Earth, Wind and Fire, this guy knew his music. After being at his house I would always go out the next day and buy the album he was talking about.
                                        One day I went over there on a Saturday morning and he was high as fuck, nodding and drooling. We, as young kids started to laugh, the older brother woke up and asked us, what the fuck we were laughing about? We shit our pants. Then by some miracle of God he said, I know what you idiots are laughing at, he walked over to the record player and flipped the side of the album over. He said he was sorry. Whatever he was listening to when he passed out must have had something funny on it because he thought we were laughing at the record playing but the side had ended.
                                       He put the needle on the record and sat next to us. I heard some applause then a man introduced someone and after a few minutes a heard a joke, then laughter. This wasn't a band playing music, this was something else. I asked him, what was this? In his haze he looked at me and said, Richard Pryor now shut the fuck up. I'm listening and now I'm laughing, then Pryor starts to curse and I'm loving it then I hear his "Dracula meeting The Wino" bit and my head almost EXPLODED! I started crying because I was laughing so hard but I was crying because I was truly blown the fuck away. Whatever he was doing was brilliant. I went to the store and immediatly bought, "The Nigger's Crazy", the album I had listened to and "Is it Something I Said". I listened to them day and night. I would have sleep overs and listen. At that age it was tricky, you had to put the Pryor album on the turntable, then get a album ready to fall in case an adult walked in. Those early Pryor albums were no jokes, there some real blue material on those albums. He was taking people on some wild rides and I really loved that. I can't remember the emotion it struck but I remember feeling free, I can't describe it.
                               
                              When I first got in to comedy, I always thought of those albums and felt that I would never be good enough to put out an album, I could only dream. Then in 2000, the CD boom started, every comic started putting out CD's on a label. Then comics figured out they could get a taping device and make CD's on their own and sell them after shows. A few people approached me but I would always say no because of some reason or another, but deep down inside it was because of my insecurities. I would tell myself that when I got as good as Pryor, then I'd make a CD but I knew that would never happen.
                            Cocaine changes people in weird ways because your forced to do things you wouldn't do under normal circumstances. In 2002, with all my insecirities and an addiction, I was talked into taping a CD. The deal included money up front, and you know me, money talks and bullshit walks. I recorded it at The Icehouse Comedy Cub in Pasadena for this company out of Vegas. When I heard it I cried, it was horrible, who cared? I wasn't going to sell it on the road anyway, that was their job. I snorted the cash they gave me and moved on.
                           In 2007 my buddies from "National Lampoon Radio" put me together to tape another one. I'm not sure if I was sober when I taped that one, its called, "Live from the 3 of Clubs". It was a good CD, but not my best stuff. I coudn't tap in to my certain patua that night, not to mention that I still felt like shit for taping it because I still wasn't as good as Pryor but I had to put something out there.
                          I started thinking about my insecurities and Pryor and what it would take to be as good. One thing for sure that was different about him at that time was his writing and the subjects he touched on, they were real. Listen I'm a good comic, my material is so-so but I'm great on my feet, what that means is that I can come up with a funny joke or saying in seconds and hit hard with it. Its a gift that I was depending on too much, yes I had a few 2 line bits, but I couldn't control what I did on stage, it was always a dice shoot, and yes when I killed, I killed, but when I died, I died hard because there was nothing there. I felt I was better than that. Now I knew why I didn't have a career.What good is it if I was funny, if I couldn't express the real me.
                       Last year," Beauty and DaBeast Podcast" had a show and I figured I'd give it another try at a CD. I wrote a little, I prepared a little and what was the result....pure garbage. That was about the time I started interviewing at different car dealerships. I was going to quit and get a job, then I thought about Pryor. I thought about what he had gone through, the drugs, the women, the trouble but he always prepared. He wrote, others wrote for him and he would put it together. I had been clean off the blow for 3 years at this time and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. You know what it was? The writing! Its everything.
                      I started writing everyday, not jokes but a biography of sorts because the only way to get water is to open the faucet. Its not writing, its the discipline of sitting down and shutting yourself off to the world, its a different high. From the wrting, I started remembering stories that were buried in my soul by the pain and the drugs. Those are the stories you guys hear today. I was embarrased of them but I started bringing them out and for the first time in my life I felt like a real comedian because I gave light to a situation, no matter how bad it is, and in reality, thats what a comedian does.
                     So what I'm getting at is this, even though I'm no Pryor at this point in my life, I felt that I could record something that I could be proud of so in December, Lee Syatt, the "Director from Isreal" and myself rented a recorder and taped a show to see what would happen and all the hard work and writing paid off, it's called, "It's Either You or The Priest". It's not bad, I laughed listening to it and if you know me I can't stand listening to myself or seeing myself, so that means a lot.
                     I'm charging a fin for it and I get about 3 dollars and change so I'm not looking to break nobody, we're just looking to get income to shoot other projects in the future like an upgraded Madflavor'sWorld. The documentary we shot will be released March 17th, and we're trying to make you proud so we're shooting some more footage and taping a 1 man show to surround and give life to the interviews. Lee is a genius and he never disappoints, so strap one on, 2012 is going to be huge ball lickers!
                     Thank you for reading and for all the love and support. I write these things because at times I wish I could get back 10 years of my life but I can't and I don't want you guys to feel the same way! Go out there and rock your dream, you never know what could happen if you try!
                   Don't forget! From January 17th -26th, turn on your DVR's I'll be on "General Hospital" and look for me on, "Children's Hospital" on adult swim. Have a great week and remember......STAY BLACK!
 
P.S. Here is the link to buy and download the CD.....Thank You!
                   
http://store.payloadz.com/details/990138-music-comedy-its-either-you-or-the-priest.html
                 

                   
                                     
                                     

3 comments:

  1. A "fin"...haven't herd that term in a 100 years! I saw you a few times and I think you are the Best out there... Never Give up, Never Surrender. Galaxy Quest

    ReplyDelete
  2. Growing up, I listened to a lot of Pryor with my older brothers. We had a few of his cassettes. My two favorite memories are his jokes about the story of the navy goings-on in a submarine. "Torpedo one, you're fired! Where's Johnsosn? He went to the lavatory..." and about the big dude from the neighborhood who got beat up by the cops. "Man, it was cool how you took on all those cops. *wincing, painful sounding response* "Yeah, I know."

    This blog takes me back...

    BP

    ReplyDelete
  3. you inspire me you motherfucker you. i've always been the funny guy, so I'm finally taking my pothead ass out into the world to pursue my dream of standup. thank you Joey D!

    http://randomasshole.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete