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I'm a Comedian who loves to write blogs about my past experiences, no matter what they are.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011


                                Hello beautiful people! Hope your 4th was tremendous and safe. I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been busy with other bullshit but now I'm ready so lets do this. Movies have always inspired me. People say that there just a form of entertainment but there are certain movies that just hit us a certain way.
                                I remember going to see "The Godfather" for the first time. I left that movie theatre floating. Not because of the killings or the Sicilian chics titties or Marlon Brando. It was the Wedding scene, when Michael and Kaye are sitting down and Tom Hagen walks over and Michael introduces them. When he leaves she asked Michael, if they were brothers why did they have different last names? Michael told him that one day Sonny found him on the street and he had no home and no family, so he brought him home. WOW! Can I do that?
                                I ran home and told my mother the story. I asked her if I could bring home a kid that didn't have a family? She told me yes! If I could find one. I was an only child that always wanted a brother, so the search was on. I was looking for a tough Irish kid. After a few months of asking around, I got nothing. I thought, fuck it! I'll just go for any nationality, whats the difference, I need a brother. By the time I was thirtenn, I gave up.
                               Something was going on around me though. I was becoming tight with different kids in the neighborhood. I was always at different homes eating, swimming and shooting hoops. My Mom did her thing and I did mine. Then one day my Mom dies. I'm fifteen. I really had no family and they were scattered. I had an Uncle in California, a Godfather in Miami and my Dad in Union City, but I was set in my ways. I had grown up in North Bergen and thats were I was staying. I considered just staying at my Moms house but my step Dad started with the who's going to pay for the mortgage bullshit. I had money but not that type of money.
                          I figured I'd deal with it after the funeral. The first family to approach me was The Avillo's. There Dad had just died. There were 3 boys and I got along with all of them, till today Steven is one of my tightest friends because of that. But I had issues. I had been on my own for so long that I didn't think I could stick to a curfew. I was an only child, I had everything in my room. An air conditioner, my own colored TV with cable. I had nice carpeting plus my own bed, plus I came and went when I pleased, who was going to deal with it? This other family asked also, the Garcia's, nice people, but I would have to share a room, I was holding out for a top draft pick. The Balzano's were the obvious choice. I had basically lived in there house. Years earlier there son had passed but I still remained close. They had a nice home and all but Carmine was strict. I told him I would get back to him.
                         There was this one family I was tight with also. They were, The Benders. The kid I hung out with was John. Years earlier he had beaten me up and after that we became friends. He was the first kid in the hood who had an underground pool. I had a pool but it was above ground. I would go over there everyday. Afterwards I would stick around and clean up a bit while everyone else would leave. I had a pool and knew how it was, people would come over and leave a mess. They way I looked at it, I could go over there when ever I wanted, why ruin that?
                       One day the Dad said something about it, how I would stay. Shortly after, we became friends. He would ask if I'd go to the track with him? I would ask, what about your other boys? He would tell me they didn't want to go. How weird? I didn't have a Father but if I did, I would go to the track everyday with him. I started going with him. He would give me dough and teach me how to cash winning tickets for people and get 10% of their earnings, Mr. Bender was very cool. He dug me but his wife hated me. I would go in and eat and it would drive her crazy. I'd fill up a big bowl of pasta with meatballs, and she would look at me and say, Good Country America! It bothered me but it didn't.
                   The last night of my Moms wake I'm standing there by the casket thinking to myself. I was thinking about my life and how I now was alone and of all the lessons she taught me to get me ready for this day. While I'm standing there ready to break down, someone whispers in my ear, I'm here for you Coco! I know people have been asking you to live with them, it would break my heart if you didn't come and live with us, as a family. It was Jimmy Bender aka Mr. Big.
                 Right there at that moment I remembered the scene from "The Godfather" and thought to myself, someone is bringing me home! Fucking Amazing! Thank you for reading. This is the story from my One Man Show. I hope you enjoyed it and got something out of it.

See you Tomorrow @ The Irvine Improv for Banana Bread Thursday @ 8PM........Much Love and Stay Black!!!!!!


  1. Good blog man, it made me remember my childhood and how my mum was the kind of mum to take every stray kid in. We had different kids staying over every night at times and sometimes one or two would stay for a longer period. Reading your blog makes me love her all the more for that and it makes me appreciate her from my friends point of view.

    You should turn all these stories into a book or two. You may have one of the better coming of age stories out there and you tell it well...