What's happening beautiful people? Happy 420! Its been a while since I wrote something, I'm sorry but I've been busy with tour dates and a One Man show and the cats, you know how it gets but I'm here now so lets do this.
For the last few weeks I've been on the road and its amazing the response I've gotten concerning the podcast. Whether its "Beauty and Da Beast" or" The Joe Rogan Experience", people always come up to me and say they enjoy it or I'm funny and that's OK. Its the people that were coming up to me saying that listening to the podcast changed their life or it kept them together on a weekly basis, those were the remarks that had me worried because if I'm the guy that keeps you together, you really have problems.
I thought about it for a couple of days and it hit me. As you know, when I was 14 I lost my mother. Life at the time was as hard as I made it. I was really down on life, on myself, the people around me but most important, God. My central belief system had died. It happens to a lot of people. It happens when your done with life and it happens to a human later on in life, but when it happens to a young kid that's real bad. Your confused, lost and nothing is possible in your world. At this pace your just a walking time bomb. This is when your weak and any thing could take over and its usually negative. Negative people, negative thoughts,and the next thing you know your in a jail cell or dead, all by your own creation because we were weak at that particular moment.
I know about these feelings because this is what I went through, I didn't know it then but years later I realized it. One of the things that stopped me from taking out a whole building and then icing myself was the comfort and acceptance I found from listening to Black Sabbath at the time. Albums like "Master of Reality" and "Sabotage" but the album that hit me the most was "Sabbath, Bloody, Sabbath". The song became my anthem because it was about revenge, for what life had done to me.But in all that anger and confusion, this music gave me another day, it gave me hope as stupid as it sounds.
In my heart I felt Ozzy had written these songs for me. It felt like he had gone through all the things I did and knew what I was going through. I would get a gram of Coke or a hit of acid and play those albums over and over again. While listening to the music I would go through every emotion that was in my heart at the time. I would always start crying in the middle of my trip but by the end of it I knew it was going to get better because somewhere in that music Ozzy told me it would get better. Does that sound stupid?
So after thinking about this, I understood what people were saying to me. Sometimes we get inspiration and comfort from the simplest things. When I started doing podcast whether it was with Felicia or with Rogan or anyone else I decided that I wouldn't be a comedian but a human being. Radio for me is so we could sell our dates and merchandise and what not. I felt that podcast were the next level, so we as entertainers had to take it to the next level but it wasn't going to be with jokes and cute stories but with our lives.That what sets us apart from each other because we all have a funny 30 minute set, but our lives are all different and very unique. Who would have known telling you guys about burning a hookers wig, or my times in prison were going to make you like and understand me. If this is what gets you through and keeps your powder dry..............Thank you. It makes what I do a lot easier, which is being me and at the end of the day that and Staying Black is all that really matters. Have a great week, much love and always be yourself!!!!!!