What's up beautiful people? It's a great day to be alive. Sorry I'm late with this thing but I've been recovering from Strep throat and the weekend in Brea with Rogan. If you came out, thank you and thank you all for the great Birthday wishes.
I was feeling shitty last week like we do when a Birthday is around the corner. We think of are past and are mistakes but most importantly we think about the future and what time we have left. When I got into this racket I loved doing Stand up but I also loved movies and television. I always dreamed of being a funny garbage man or cop on a show. I was doing ok in the film and TV world till about 4 years ago when the strike hit and since then it hasn't been the same. Don't get me wrong I still work but not the amount I was doing years ago. Is it my age? My face? My weight? There are always variables involved.
I came to the conclusion that my acting career was done and between you and me, that's o.k. I've done more than I ever expected to do, I never even expected to be out here longer than 5 years but after 13 years, I'm still here so I must be doing something right. In the middle of all this fucked up thinking I remembered when I was younger and my mom died. There was a house and property and jewelry, but because my mom left no will, it went into probate and years later between the paperwork and this bullshit I got nothing. For years I walked around angry and with a chip on my shoulder than one day it came to me, Fuck it! Why am I waiting on this? I'm going to put it in God's hands and live my life. Why worry about this and mind fuck myself when reality is right in front of me.
The same thing happened to me last week. I got an epiphany! I hate watching myself on TV or tape or film or whatever. So I never really watch anything I do. If I have to cause I'm at a screening or something, I try to black it out. It's crazy! I could always tell when the movie,"The Longest Yard" is on because people call me and twitter me or they'll come up to me 3 days later and yell, "Can Of Corn", its amazing. Anyway, Sunday morning when I woke up, it was on and I started watching and I remembered little things like what I was feeling while I was shooting the movie, how proud I was. How I made an audition tape and sent it in when they didn't want to see me because they didn't know who I was. How I was only hired for 4 weeks but after 2 days they hired me for the whole movie, I also saw who else was in the movie and how I was right there with them line for line.
That was when I realized that I had to do the same thing I did 25 years ago with my mothers situation. I'm good at what I do leave it alone, keep doing what your doing but most importantly, put it in God's hands. All I could do is keep writing jokes and doing my podcast to the best of my ability if something happens good, if not I know in my heart I did the best job and gave it the best effort I could. Sometimes you just have to step back to watch the miracle unfold and if it doesn't, the bong is right there. Take a hit and come up with a new idea but why be depressed about something you can't control. Just a reminder because in this fucked up world knowing what I know or better yet what we know we always seem to forget this tidbit about life!
Have a great week but most importantly remember to Stay Black!
P.S. The Comedy Club.......Webster New York March 24-26th Come on Down!